IS IT MOONSHINE?
NO. IF THE LABEL SAYS “SHINE” IT IS BECAUSE WE NAMED IT THAT. MOONSHINE IS ANY UNTAXED LIQUOR PRODUCED WITHOUT PROPER LICENSING. WE HAVE THE LICENSING, AND PAY THE TAX. WHY? BECAUSE THE PRISON SYSTEM IS A GREAT DETERRENT.
VODKA IS MADE FROM POTATOES?
VODKA IS MADE FROM POTATOES AND CORN AND GRAPES AND WHEAT AND ANYTHING ELSE THAT CAN BE CONVERTED TO SUGAR. OUR VODKA IS MADE FROM CANE SUGAR. THERE ARE SOME GREAT VODKAS MADE FROM POTATOES BUT I PERSONALLY ENJOY BUTTER, SOUR CREAM, AND SCALLIONS WITH MY POTATOES; GRAVY WHEN MASHED. IT JUST WASN’T VERY APPEALING TO US AFTER WE SHOVED ALL OF THAT IN A BOTTLE.
iS IT GLUTEN-FREE?
TECHNICALLY, GLUTEN IS TOO HEAVY OF A COMPUND TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE DISTILLATION PROCESS. HOWEVER, WE UNDERSTAND THAT SOME MAY WANT TO ABSTAIN REGARDLESS. THE MAJORITY OF OUR PRODUCTS ARE MADE WITH A ‘SUGAR’ BASE, SO THERE IS NO GLUTEN PRESENT. IF YOU ARE CONCERNED ABOUT A SPECIFIC PRODUCT, DON’T HESISTATE TO INQUIRE. NOTE: WE MAKE NO MEDICAL / HEALTH CLAIMS.
ARE YOU IN THE STATE STORE?
OUR PRODUCTS ARE NOT SOLD IN THE PA FINE WINE & GOOD SPIRITS STORES. YOU CAN FIND THEM AT OUR TASTING ROOM IN PITTSTON OR FOLLOW US TO MARKETPLACES AND FESTIVALS WHEN WE’RE AT THEM.
DO YOU SHIP?
WE WOULD LOVE TO CONTRIBUTE TO A LONG HISTORY OF TAGLINES. HOWEVER, DUE TO THE REGULATIONS ON OUR PRODUCT WE ARE UNABLE TO SHIP TO ALL STATES AND WHERE WE ARE ABLE TO SHIP, THE COST IS PRODIGIOUS. IF THAT IS NO DETERRENT, CONTACT US DIRECTLY FOR A SHIPPING QUOTE. UNTIL THEN YOU’LL JUST HAVE TO KEEP “SHIPPING YOUR PANTS”.
DO YOU HAVE TOURS?
OUR PRODUCTION FACILITY IN NANTICOKE DOES NOT OFFER TOURS AT THIS TIME. BUT IF YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES AND IMAGINE SEVERAL FERMENTATION TANKS, SOME STAINLESS STEEL, A BUTTLOAD BARRELS, AND A LOVELY STILL ALL HIDING A MOUNTAIN OF PAPERWORK ON THE DESK IN THE BACK THEN YOU’VE HAD THE TOUR.
CAN I BRING A FRIEND?
YOUR FRIENDS ARE WELCOME. THE SAME “RULES” APPLY CONCERNING AGE AND MANNERS. SO CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS WISELY. TRUST ME ON THIS ONE.
CAN MY FRIEND BRING A FRIEND?
NOW HERE’S WHERE IT GETS TRICKY. FRIEND OF A FRIEND DOESN’T ALWAYS WORK OUT. THERE’S ALWAYS THAT MOMENT AN INSIDE JOKE COMES UP AND YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE NOT LAUGHING. BUT DON’T WORRY BECAUSE OUR PRODUCTS CAN WORK AS A SOCIAL LUBRICANT WHEN USED RESPONSIBLY.
WHAT IF I DON’T HAVE ANY FRIENDS?
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WHO DO YOU SELL TO?
WE SELL TO THE DIRECTLY TO THE PUBLIC. FRIENDS AND FAMILY TOO, ALTHOUGH THEY JUST DON’T DRINK ENOUGH TO SUPPORT US FULL TIME. ORDER ONLINE AND PICK UP OR STOP BY OUR TASTING ROOM IN PITTSTON TO MAKE YOUR PURCHASE. WE ALSO SELL TO OTHER LICENSEES, INQUIRE AT LANGBEVERAGE@GMAIL.COM
WHO DON’T YOU SELL TO?
THIS LIST IS SHORT. ANYONE UNDER 21 YEARS OF AGE OR ANYONE INTOXICATED.
DO YOU ACCEPT CREDIT CARDS?
YES. WE DO HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY AVAILABLE TO TAKE A CREDIT CARD AS PAYMENT. 3% CARD FEE WILL BE ASSESSED DUE TO ASTRONOMICAL RATES OF PROCESSING.
DO YOU ACCEPT CASH?
YES. WE JUST FINISHED A NEW MATH WORKBOOK AND ARE ULTRA CONFIDENT WITH MAKING CHANGE. (EXCEPT FOR MARYANN- YOU SHOULD DOUBLE CHECK HER WORK.)
HOW MUCH WOOD WOULD A WOODCHUCK CHUCK IF A WOODCHUCK COULD CHUCK WOOD?
NEW YORK FISH AND WILDLIFE TECHNICIAN RICHARD THOMAS ANSWERED THAT QUESTION BACK IN THE 1980’S. HIS DETERMINATION IS ABOUT 700 POUNDS ON A GOOD DAY, WITH THE WIND AT HIS BACK. THIS IS THE OFFICIAL POSITION OF LBC DISTILLERY UNTIL A BETTER ANSWER CAN BE PROVIDED.
CAN I SHOW YOU PICTURES OF MY DOGS?
PICTURES OF DOGS ARE WELCOMED. ENCOURAGED ACTUALLY. UNLESS YOUR DOG IS A LLAMA. LONG STORY SHORT, ONE OF US (JONATHAN) HAS A LLAMA ALLERGY.
WHAT SPARKED YOUR IDEA OF MAKING BOOZE?
I WAS BORED ONE DAY. JUST LIKE THE DAY I WROTE ALL OF THESE ABSURD QUESTION AND ANSWERS.